Happy Holidays from CMPS!

Many adults set yearly goals.  Fewer set monthly or weekly goals and only a lucky handful set daily goals.  Why lucky?  Because chances are that the daily goal setters reach more of their goals than others.

Regardless of how often you set goals, if you happen to be a parent, it is common to forget to include the children in this amazingly powerful process.

Goal People vs.

Process People

Let's break human beings down into two categories relative to how they approach life.  Some people are very goal-oriented, meaning that they set goals, plan, act, evaluate, re-plan, act, evaluate, etc.  Goal-oriented people generally accomplish their goals if they learned the planning, action and evaluating steps.  And, goal-oriented people often forget anything else exists in life.

Process-oriented people, however, generally despise setting goals because it takes away the spontaneity of life.  Setting goals doesn't allow for changing your mind, changing the course of your life at a whim, just going with the flow and really enjoying the process along the way.  Process people are often carefree, happy individuals who get lost in the forest or spend hours each day doing things and not caring at all what they get done that day.  Process people do set goals, sometimes, but often end up feeling guilty or ashamed because they rarely reach these goals.  They may even eventually conclude that setting goals is a waste of their time.

Enter the Soccer Game

So, how does the process vs. goal orientation relate to soccer and teaching children to set goals?  Well, think of it this way: you have a soccer field, the halfway line, the goal box, the actual goal, the penalty box, the end line (a.k.a. goal line) and the sideline.  You also have a place for the fans, sometimes a snack shop, coaches, volunteers and other support staff and, finally, you have the ball.

A great deal goes into winning a soccer game.  You first decide you want to play soccer.  You then learn how to play by learning the rules, learning to kick the ball and move it around the field.  Then you have to find a team to play on and learn what it means to be a team player.  You have to show up, play your best, move the ball forward to score, watch everything that's going on and make quick decisions about which way to go to get the ball in the goal box and finally, you have to be ready to kick the ball in when the opportunity presents itself--sometimes in a very brief window of time.

Sounds a bit like life, and you can use this scenario to explain goal setting to your kids.  Even if they don't play soccer, they will relate to the sports metaphor much more readily than just trying to explain goal setting to them.

Inviting Your Children to Join Your Goal Setting Process

If you have children, include them in your own goal setting process and help them set a few of their own. If you've never set goals before, now is the perfect time to start.

Did you know that the major thing that sets successful people apart from unsuccessful people is that successful people write their goals down on paper AND they write them down on a regular basis?

If writing your goals down is one of the major things that defines whether or not a person is successful (that and a bit of action), then teaching your kids to set and achieve goals may be one of the many life skills you should seriously consider modeling for them.

First Time Goal Setting

Okay, if you've never ever really sat down long enough to consider WHERE you're going or WHAT you want in life, it's okay because you can start now.  The past is the past; let it go.  The future, however, is like a brand new sketchbook ready for you to create, full of colors, shapes, feelings and expression.

Oh, you thought you had to WRITE your goals down on paper?  Well, that's a great start but a picture goal board, also called a Dream Board or Vision Board. Napoleon Hill, the author of Think and Grow Rich, once said that what the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.  We need to teach our children this concept early in life! This may be what differentiates children who grow up to be leaders and CEOs of their own lives instead of victims.

Creating Dream/Vision Boards

This is a fun and simple process but it will take some thought and the proverbial question: What do I want in life?  Before you begin actually building a dream board, write this question at the top of a piece of paper and just sit quietly and answer it.  Have each child that is creating a board with you do this exercise as well.  Kids generally love this part!

Here's what you and your kids will need:

1.     Two to three hours of uninterrupted time to relax, along with some great music to create by.

2.     Poster board.  Half sheets work best but if you want to use full sheets, by all means have at it.  Note: poster board generally has a shiny side and a matte side.  If you're going to be using markers, use the matte side as the shiny side smears (ask me how I know!).

3.     Lots of old/new magazines filled with great photos, alphabet letters (for ransom note-like cut out words), etc.  Magazines of your favorite hobbies and interests are great.  Thrift stores often have lots of magazines for pennies if you don't have a ready stock on hand.

4.     Tape, glue, scissors, markers, other art supplies for cutting out and attaching images to your poster board.

That's it. Assemble the things you need, set aside the time for your whole family to create the next year of their lives (or more) just the way everyone wants it and have a great time doing it.

HINT: After everyone in the family has created their own dream or vision board and put it on the door or wall of their choice, create a Family Dream Board for the coming year and put it on the fridge because refrigerators have magical powers!

Now, go plan your life and teach your children how to plan theirs in the process!  You'll be surprised at how much fun it is. And, when things start coming true and showing up for you and your kids, you'll be even more excited about creating one for next year.